They were right...this IS the best disclaimer ever

My disclaimer to this disclaimer is simply that I did not find it. Well, I did, but only because someone else found it first, and they were kind enough to post it where I eventually found it...

Best Disclaimer Ever

Shelled Pecans

You know when you hold something in your hand...and it represents so much more than the object?

For me, today, it was shelled pecans.

My parents' new house is in the midst of a pecan grove, on a "campus" where they could live in a condo...or an apartment...or assisted living...or the Alzheimer's Memory unit...or full care living. As my mom so succinctly put it, "when we leave this place, they'll be taking us out feet first."

That's my mom for ya. A truth teller. *and a "Happy New Year Feathered Crown Wearer" as the above photo demonstrates*

My folks seem to love it where they are. They "down-sized" a few years ago, but even so, this new place is very much like all their other houses. They have a knack for making every place "home". Dad was in the Air Force, so we moved a lot over the years. I've always said that you could walk into any one of those houses and be in exactly the same living room.

Comforting really.

Mom and Dad's new home, to me, represents so many things. Some of which I'll choose to acknowledge at another time. For now, this is what I choose to acknowledge:

My parents have a lot of things going on every day. Good stuff. Life enriching stuff. They also have some new health issues. This must make them grumpy. Actually I'm pretty darn sure it does. Trust me on this. Mostly, though, they are still the same people they always have been...only more so. *note to self, who you are as a young adult is likely to be greatly magnified as you get older...so carefully cultivate who you'd like your grandkids to see...*

Their new lifestyle is a good one. It's not the old one, but it's a good one.

I'm not big on change. Never have been, and -I'm tempted to say- never will be. (guess I'll hold off on actually saying that only because I think it's mildly interesting to entertain the thought of embracing change)

So what was my point here?

Shelled pecans.

Those pecans are all about my parent's new life. My father picked them up off the ground around their house. He shelled them. My mom bagged them up and sent them to me. They're mine. Won't share 'em, so don't even ask.

Do you give them what they want...or do you give yourself what you deserve?

Why do we so often give people what they expect of us? We don't like it. We resent it...but still, we give people what they expect.

An example:
A student today stopped by to talk about a phone call he had just gotten. The details aren't important here, but the expected outcome is. What could be predicted (as a result of the phone call) is that he would need to FIX THE PROBLEM. Not as in, find a reasonable solution...rather, as in - OH YEAH I'LL FIX THAT YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.

*sigh*

And at what cost to him? I'm here to tell you that it would cost him dearly. His freedom would be compromised, and with that - his future. (no, I'm not exaggerating) Over what?....a ridiculous detail on one day in his life. Over a phone call that could have been avoided...EXCEPT....someone wanted him to FIX something, and they knew that he would.

The sad part of this is (and we have all been here at one point in time, or will be in the future) - I think on some level he didn't really want to have to FIX this. He didn't really want to give these people what they expected. Seems to me he might have actually felt that FIXING this would not be in his best interest.

Maybe what he really wanted was a reasonable resolution in this ridiculous situation. How was that supposed to happen when he was the guy that everyone expects to FIX things?

So here he was, fighting between the part of him that KNOWS HOW TO SOLVE THIS YOU BETTER BELIEVE THAT I DO...and the part of him that would appreciate an apology.

I don't know what he ended up doing.

I just hope he didn't give people what they expected, and instead gave himself what he deserves.

Some things make you stop and think...

There are days that make me sit back and think. Like the day when one of the kids came in that I hadn't seen in awhile. He didn't look "right", so I asked him what was up...was he ok?

He's one of those people that, the very minute you strike up a conversation, you KNOW there is something more to him than first meets the eye. Never mind the beanie...and all that hair. Never mind the snake bite piercings. Never mind any of that. If you take just that extra pause to listen, you know there's more.

Anyhow, the other day this young man seemed...not ok.

As it turns out, his mother has stage 4 bladder cancer...so he's got other things on his mind besides school. He's taking care of her. He's getting his brother to school every day. He's cooking, cleaning, and getting groceries. He's 17 years old, and he was keeping this to himself.

So I look at myself...and I look at him...and I have to wonder, who was the grown-up in that conversation?

Some things really do make you stop and think.

So, here we go...

What happens if I find out that I don't really have much to say? Well, as mom always told me, "Nothing ventured - nothing gained."

We'll see.